Most of the guys that travel in tournaments around Asia know Harris Vertlieb of the Singaore River Rats very well. Harris has been a good friend to Hong Kong softball and whenever we see him on the road it's always a blast! Harris was good enough to sit down and answer some stupid questions for our entertainment....
Since some of the guys in our league may not know you, tell us a little bit about you and the River Rats-
The River Rats are the most wonderful and stupendous team ever in the history of organized sports. Duuuuh!
Where did young Harris grow up and how did you end up coming out to Asia?
Did you ever see the Woody Allen movie (I think BANANAS) where he grows up under The Cyclone Roller Coaster in Coney Island; well I was his neighbor. I am the original Coney Island Kid. Born in the Lower East Side of Manhattan and moved to CI when I was 6!!
Was an International Tax Consultant for Price Waterhouse and sent to Tokyo in 1983 to do US Tax Returns for Expats living overseas. Yeah all of you muts missed out on having the best TAX ADVISOR. No one had to pay taxes to Uncle SAM when I prepared the tax return
You’ve been in Asia for quite a while. Tell us some of the guys from Hong Kong that you’ve become friends with over the years-
The list is long and glorious. Though maybe we shouldn’t admit to it in a Dark Alley in Wan Chai. In fact some of the HK boys moved to Singapore. Guess they learned something. Those that are still floating around would be: Mark “BIG RED” Looram, Mike Macintrye, Michael Glaze, Patrick “POC”O’Conner, Wayne Lau and none other than Mark “NBA” Fisher.
How come Gas House and the Turkey’s always kick the shit out of the Rats?
Define ‘always’? And obviously you don’t recall when The Rats beat the Turkeys 3 straight years in various finals and semi finals. Who can forget The MUD Bowl in Bangkok Polo Field in 2002 when The Rats beat The Turkeys to win The President Cup. We do as we have the hardware to show for it and also the video tape as it was our 10th anniversary. And I do recall a few wins against The Gas House Gang as well over the years. Maybe the guy asking these questions wasn’t there for those!!
Isn’t Singapore really only the sweat dripping off of Hong Kong’s balls? I mean we always have to hear about how Singapore is the big up and coming Asian city and how it is going to surpass Hong Kong in five years but in reality it’s the Omaha of Asia! Can you please just admit this to us???
Your base premise is entirely wrong -- Hong Kong has no balls. Sorry, did you have a question here? Oh and didn’t I read last week that Singapore has over taken HK as a financial centre!! Who has F1 and Casinos soon! Macau is still not HK and never will be!!
I’ve always felt that Asia was correct in calling Diet Coke “Coke Light”! If you think about it Diet Coke is not really diet material! I mean no one is going to go on the Coke “diet”! Furthermore, Bud doesn’t call their less calorie beer “Diet Bud” or Miller “Diet Miller”. Shouldn’t something be done about this?? And to think people are all worried about bailing out wall Street right now!
I do NOT need a diet. Stop asking about my diet. I’m married now, so I can afford to load up at the breakfast buffet once in a while. And, no, I AM NOT OVER-SENSITIVE ABOUT THIS TOPIC. As for these so called DIET drinks related to tasty beverages why not just call all of them “SUGAR FREE”. That’s really what we are discussing.
Better tournament- Bangkok or Manila?
Why choose when you have both, silly Hong Kong mutt?
Your favorite memory playing against a Hong Kong team in a tourney is?
Beating the Turkeys in The President Cup in 2002. Sorry can not get enough of this one.
Who is the one guy from Hong Kong you are happy to see walking through the door into the Rat party suite?
The one and only Chris Mikosh! And not Greg Flynn no matter how much you pay me!!!
Who is the best player you’ve played against from Hong Kong?
Well the best player ever to don a HK Uniform that The Rats played against was actually a RiverRat!! If Richard Draper ain’t one of the best damn players you have seen then I’ll buy the first round in Bangkok this year. Now if you want to know who was the best player from HK then I will go with my young Eric Harrison!! I mean how can I not choose the kid who used to sit on the bench in Singapore when he was 12 years old. Yes he wasn’t always that crazy.
Forget about the Rats, Turkey’s and Gas House for a second. If you just took your best players from Singapore and our best players from Hong Kong who would win?
Sorry no contest there…You forget we have the Fattboyz and Guzzlers too to choose from as well!!
How about in a drinking contest?
Oh, come on! We have Adam Persson and Phil Vandine. Go to: http://www.singaporerats.com/wp/rattv/ and look for deathmatch to see what we mean
How come every year Eric Levy says he’s going to get a hotel for every team in Asia for something like $40 per night and it never happens? Do you know how much time we’ve wasted listening to him?
The DOG has come thru many times saving The Turkeys with last minute great rates at The Intercon in Manila. Again the person asking the question doesn’t know all the history but we forgive Gregg. There are always the best intentions but even THE DOG can fall short sometimes. Also, who asks you to listen to him anyway!!
Do you support the $700B package? I mean at what point are we becoming a socialist country?
I support it as long as some of it goes to help pay off my mortgage. Also, be weary of Paulsen as he needs to make sure Goldman doesn’t go out of business so he can ensure his stock options are worth something after he leaves the Treasury! We have a long way to go to Socialism. We wouldn’t want to resemble Canada now would we!
Who would win in a football game- ’76 Steelers or ’84 49’ers? You’ve got to remember that ’76 Steeler team had the Steel curtain, Jack Lambert and Jack Ham at linebacker and Tony Dungy and Donnie Shell at safety! How is Montana gonna run the west coast offense against that??
Easy – ‘84 49ers. Lambert and Ham were not great pass coverage linebackers. Run a few times up the middle with Roger Craig to get the linebackers and corners to bunch in. Then hit John Taylor on a quick slant in the seam for a 23-yard gain. Then throw the deep ball to Rice for the touchdown. Every single time, baby! I think Ronnie Lott may get a few interceptions and run one back for a TD as well.
Without looking it up how many US presidents can you name in succession starting with Washington?
Washington, Adams, Jefferson, Madison, Monroe, Adams( Quincy), Jackson.. I was a history buff growing up
(EDITOR'S NOTE: A history buff should be able to rattle off more than five in a row!)
Have you ever noticed that as a group terrorists aren’t very good looking? I think this could be the source of all their anger! Think about it, you’d be more apt to blow yourself if you were heinously ugly and wore horrible cloths!
Not all terrorists are ugly. Just look at Bill Ayers back in the 60’s now that he has become the focal point of attention for the McCain campaign. He may not look good now but not so bad in his day! Most terrorists have to look ugly and wear horrible clothes otherwise they would forget why they are blowing themselves up. If you recall many of the terrorists come from wealthy families I’m sure they don’t want to destroy their Armani suits, Gucci shoes and LV luggage.
Who jumped the shark first- Chris Berman or John Madden?
Hmmm, interesting. Not sure what this means. Maybe I have been out of the USA too long. But the real questions here are what kind of shark, did the shark give consent and was the shark of legal majority at the time? Also, was more than one shark involved? Sounds like a good research project for an enterprising young Hong Kong softball rookie to dig into.
Do you wear pajamas?
Sorry to say no. I know you must be getting a rise out of this one. But seriously I prefer those Balinese pants for US$2. They have a piss whole to make it easy for me when I have to go or come. Either way it works…
Anything you want to say to the fellas in Hong Kong?
Yes, how does it feel living so close to the historic reservoir of the bird flu virus? Also do you need The RATS to pick you up by the roadside again after your bus runs out of gas!! Maybe you should assign one of your rookies to make sure there is enough gas next time.
Love ya and see u in BKK soon!
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