How old were you when you first found out there wasn’t a Santa Claus?

Santa?
Aint no Santa in the DR , tell you any man you see the 25th on the roof of your house acting funny you better shot him cause he is probably trying to steal your TV…

What we have is the three wise kings, they come in January in their camels
Since they come from far away and the camels are thirsty and hungry…the day before christmas you put a little bit of water, pasture and a candy (for the kings) for them…beneath your bed…when you wake up all that will be gone and instead you will have the presents…

Did Noonan, Loo and the gang do anything special to soften the blow of such devastating news? Finding out there’s no Santa can be quite traumatic!!

N/A.

If you had to be stranded on a deserted island with one of your Dog House teammates who would it be and why?

Mac cause of his boayancy… I could use him as a raft for daily excursions and fishing..

If you were in a war where the enemy was firing upon you which Dog House teammate would you want to have with you and why?

I do not remember if is Eric or Ed but one of them has the same foot size as me , so when they shot him I can take the boots..

If you were invited to a dinner with the queen of England and could take one Dog House team member with you who would it be and why?

Will take Loo half drunk and dressed for Saint Patricks Days with his giant green hat…

Queen: Sir Jamatte why have you brougth this green hobbit to the dinner ?

Sir Jamatte: My Queen I found this druid in a bar chasing chubby girls, since we are in England I thought you could use him in your court…you can dress him as you wish if you do not like green well try pink.. he is very funny …just give him beer and by no means feed him after midnight….

How about some tee….

If you had to leave The Dog House tomorrow and play for another team which team would it be?

Let me see, who is the guy with the roof terrace and BBQ..who can pick me up cause he lives close to me…..ummm oh yeah Dustin….Bulldogs !!!

Early word on the street is that this is your last year in Hong Kong! Please tell the masses this is not true?

No, no no….gimp aint leaving this year nor the 2009 we shall be moving in 2010 and end of the year which means two more season…

There has been a debate as to whether or not you’re just getting over on us! There’s one camp that says “there’s no way he can plan the crap he says, he just shoots from the hip and it’s damn funny!” There’s another camp that says “I’m telling you, the guy is laughing at us all! He makes that crap up to get a rise out of us. He’s a modern day wizard of Oz pulling our strings from behind the curtain.” So, what is it?

I haven’t the foggiest… maybe too much reading, drinking and a bit of madness…

Editor’s Note: It would seem from this answer he’s just getting over on us!!

ESSAY QUESTION: In 100 words or less please describe the socio-economic impact of the thong on western society. Please be sure to compare and contrast the benefits of the modern use of the thong to the drawbacks to its earlier predecessor the “bloomers”.

It kind of scares people…I remember in Jakarta after the games we went for a swim and I was wearing my speedos…as soon as I jumped into the pool everybody left but Chad…then I asked Chad if I could give him a hug …and he also left…I really do not understand….

Please tell us your three wackiest characters from the Hong Kong Softball League…..

1. Wayne at 3:00 AM with a lot of beers in him.
2. Noonan at the bleechers with few pints on him.
3. Finally a man with a grin that stretches like the cunt beneath an old mule on a hot day when she is pissing…is the non plus ultra of the group… Ta daaaaa…Mr. Coop.

Many people don’t know this but you’re also one of the best polo players in Hong Kong! Do you have more fun hanging out with the polo crowd or the softball crowd?

The softball crowd by a mile…way too much fun at the bleechers…

Who would win in a race- Mac or Noonan?

A race? Noonan will only run if you scare him and I haven not seen Mac running since I came back to Hong Kong…but belive me for the last beer in the cooler they will jump over the leftfield wall…

Outside of baseball what is the Dominican Republic famous for? I mean Cuba is famous for gambling and music! All the other Caribbean islands are famous for tourism! Jamaica has Bob Marley! There has to be something from the DR other than baseball??

You are right baseball is unarguably the number one with Juan Marichal and Sosa being the most popular..but we have couple of more personalities…Oscar De La Renta, Porfirio Rubirosa then regarding sports guess as for rightnow we are leading the whole caribbean in Golf with the best 3 golf courses …Teeth of the Dog, Punta Espada and The Faldo Legacy ..is amazing how many of my friends are playing golf…beside that guess we also have the basics for the caribbean…the beaches , mucic, rum, cigars, carnivals , fishing, and good looking women including miss world 2003 if you are not into women, well there are goats running everywhere, we just do not want you to go home alone…

Who would win in a war- The DR or USA?

But we kicked your behind already in 1965….. Rick was there…ask him.

If you were starting your own team and had to pick between Dustin and Andy at shortstop who would it be?

One is a Mexican pretending to be Dominican, the other a Mexican pretending to be American, since Mexicans can’t play ball I will send both to the rightfield…

Favorite type of food?

Not British food.

Favorite band (excluding Los Lobos and Gypsy Kings)?

The Jackson five.

If you had to compare yourself to any animal in the jungle which one would it be?

A fighting chicken.

Will this be the year the Dog House gets it done in the playoffs?

“ With a shriek birds flee across the black sky, people are silence….my blood ackes from waiting…”

Does your wife ever yell at you for peeing on the side of the bowl?

There is no need…. I pee seated since 1993…

Editor’s Note: I refuse to give in! I will not sit down, as it is an affront to my manhood. I calculate that the ball breaking I receive for peeing on the side of the bowl outweighs the anguish of sitting down! I encourage you all to do the same….

HAPPY HOLIDAY’S TO ALL!!