Hong Kong Slo-Pitch Softball Association

Many people thought that Chad Boyd might be the Gimp's long lost brother but I believe we found him wandering around at Tony Barne's pad in Jardine's Lookout.  We are happy they can be re-united after so many long lost years.

Tin Hau is quickly putting itself on the map as the #2 spot for Poker in the world right after Las Vegas. In the most recent tournament it was no surprise that it came down to mono vs mono of Dave Mann and Matt Terranova. Caveman took out his club and knocked Terranova over the head and he quickly "Tapped Out!" No surprise there as Matt lived up to his name. Foley was disqualified when he tried to go all in with a gabillion dollars - Willett pulled out his his Abacus and called his bluff. Cleatus was knocked out early when he bet his maximus. Wiz was also kind enough to share the secrets of beating the breathalyzer at home. The Kens just watched from the sideline and collected the rake.

For those of you who missed it, Saturday was just nuts. We had no business playing in black rain and typhoon 3 conditions but at the end of the day, both teams had to play in it and it made for some good entertainment for the fans in the bleachers. Ground balls would die instantly. Mud would splash in your eye from a pitched ball that missed the plate - I think Ronny Moss was doing it on purpose. People in the outfield would start sliding 10 feet away from the ball to pick it up with momentum and throw the ball in. I still think one of the plays of the day was when John So (Pictured to the Left) playing SS slid to field the ball that was going up the middle, his momentum sliding him over the 2nd base bag for the first out and he almost threw the guy out at 1st base throwing from his ass for a double play. Granted he only made one out but you guys have to remember John So is like 68 years-old. He was there when softball was invited.

Kosuke Fukudome sure has been a nice investment for the Chicago Cubs, hasn't it? And the cultural movement has swept up the north side of Chicago. The transition from the Land of the Rising Butter to America has been almost seamless (.317 average, .442 on-base percentage) for him, but the fans haven't quite gotten it down yet. However, they did finally find a rallying cry that they can all agree on: "Fuk-U-Do-Me!!!" They chant it over and over and over and it never seems to get old.

Some people realized they were a redneck when their favorite uncle was also their father.

Some people realized they were a redneck when they practiced safe sex by using a padded headboard on their waterbed.

Steve Flach realized he was a redneck when Dirty wore a redneck T-shirt and it had his picture on it.

A primary teacher in New Jersey explains to her class that she is a New York Mets fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are New York Mets fans.

Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little boy. The teacher looks at the boy with surprise and says, “Dukey, why didn’t you raise your hand?”

"Because I’m not a New York Mets fan,” he replied.

The teacher, still shocked, asked, “Well, if you are not a New York Mets fan, then who are you a fan of?”

“I am a New York Yankees fan and proud of it,” Dukey replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. “Dukey, why, pray tell, are you a New York Yankees fan?”

“Because my mom is a New York Yankees fan, and my dad is a New York Yankees fan, so I’m a New York Yankees fan too!”

“Well,” said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, “that is no reason for you to be a New York Yankees fan. You don’t have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what would you be then?”

“Then,” little Joe Dukey smiled, “I’d be a New York Mets fan.”

1. TRADER VIC'S
LONDON HILTON, 22 PARK LANE, LONDON, UK
Tiki bars are at their best when they are amusingly out of place, and what better location for a faux Polynesian wonderland than underneath a London hotel. Grab a signature Trader Vic's Mai Tai, recline under the coral and taxidermied puffer fish and wash away that grey London day. One of the best examples of the Trader Vic's franchise now that the famed Los Angeles outpost has bitten the dust.

2. MILK & HONEY
LOWER EAST SIDE, NEW YORK, US
An unmarked black door next to a grungy Lower East Side apartment block transports you to the ultimate in modern speak-easy chic. This darkly lit member's bar is worth the effort to find, with amazing drinks designed on the spot by your server (no drinks menu needed) and given care and attention by the stellar bar staff. London branch is also well worth a look.

3. THE DRESDEN ROOM
1760 N VERMONT AVENUE, HOLLYWOOD, US
Best known for its starring role in Swingers, this altar to another era is quite simply one of the best, most authentic lounge bars in the world. Moroccan hanging lamps, a real piano bar, venerable staff with killer mixing skills and jazz duo Marty and Elayne who have been crooning here for over two decades.

4. EL NIVEL
MONEDA 2, MEXICO CITY, MEXICO
The best bars are hard to find and this cantina – said to be the first in Mexico and dating back over three hundred years – is tucked away behind the busy El Zocalo square.

It takes just one tequila for one of the grizzled regulars to start ignoring the language barrier and start a charades-style conversation. By the second tequila you are familia.

5. PLANET
MOUNT NELSON HOTEL, CAPE TOWN
Cocktails at the bar in the colonial-era Mount Nelson Hotel are a must.

Wicker chairs, a fire, glass-bead lights on the mirrors and walls adorned with photos of Marilyn Monroe, Marlene Dietrich and other stars from the hotel¹s heyday make it a place you¹ll be reluctant to leave.

6. PLEASE DON'T TELL (PDT)
113 ST MARKS PLACE, NEW YORK, US
Just entering this NYC snug is part of the fun. Housed in Crif's Hotdogs in the East Village you enter via the phone booth inside: just call through your reservation and the wall of the booth pops open to reveal a dark and funky watering hole. While the drinks are classic the bar menu relies on Crif's dogs next door; the pairing shouldn't work – but it does.

7. THE VANGUARD
42 KING STREET, NEWTOWN, SYDNEY
Bohemian Newtown's laidback answer to a New Orlean's jazz joint, this superior live-music venue housed in an old townhouse has some of the most interesting artists in town; from emerging locals to hot international practitioners of the blues. Go for dinner and show for the best seats in the house.

8. BAR GALLERIA
HOTEL NACIONAL DE CUBA, HAVANA, CUBA
Sit in the wicker chairs once occupied by Ernest Hemingway, Frank Sinatra and a host of Mafioso who lauded it up in this art deco masterpiece prior to Castro's Revolution. This hotel bar, with a stunning view along a verdant clifftop to the Carribean sea, is famed for the best mojito on the island. Its secret? A dash of bitters to cut the sometimes-cloying sweetness.

9. HARRY'S NEW YORK BAR
5 RUE DANOU, PARIS, FRANCE
Harry's lays claim to inventing a host of classic drinks from the French 75 to the Sidecar and the Bloody Mary at its cosy mahogany home at "Sank Roo Doe Noo". Immortalised in Ian Fleming's James Bond books and a regular haunt for stars from F. Scott Fitzgerald to Marlene Dietrich, this bar's devotion to the classics makes it an essential detour in the French capital.

10. PYRAMID STAGE BAR
GLASTONBURY FESTIVAL, WORTHY FARM, PILTON, UK
The beer may be warm, the ground beneath your feet a fetid quagmire and the portable toilets so rank you have been holding on for most of the day, but this is still the main stage of the world's greatest music festival. You are likely to be seeing iconic performances from anyone from Radiohead to David Bowie and when crowd and artist click for a "classic Glasto moment" it is the best bar anywhere on the planet.

11. TOP FLOOR BAR
30 ST MARY AXE, LONDON, UK
Nurse a chilled glass of chardonnay at the pointy end of the "The Gherkin", London's newest architectural icon. While the bar is generally a staff-only affair, it can be hired for functions and affords some of the most amazing views of the capital viewed through the lens of the cutting-edge architecture.

12. ST JEROMES
7 CALEDONIAN LANE, MELBOURNE
The bar by which all Melbourne laneway bars will be judged. Grungy, funky and simple with a passion for new music that has spawned the annual Laneway festival which showcases some of the country's finest indie acts. Pull up a scruffy old couch in the graffiti-covered back lane bar and wonder to yourself how Melburnians get any work done.

13. PINGUIN CLUB
WARTBURGSTRASSE 54, SCHONEBURG, BERLIN, GERMANY
A kitsch rock and roll mecca in the Berlin suburbs stuffed to the gills with music memorabilia. Pinguin Club is unashamedly retro and maintains a casual cool from when the now-hip Shoneburg was mainly student digs. Bartender Chaos Peace regularly spins his own tunes, from his punk band The Peace Brothers, to get the night off to a rollicking start.

14. L'ASCENSOR
CALLE BELLA FILLA 3, BARCELONA, SPAIN
Named after the antique wooden lift that transports you down to this intimate living-room-sized bar full of Barcelona's beautiful people. Strike up a conversation with your fellow lift passengers as you descend and continue it downstairs over some of the city's best cocktails.

15. MAKALONCA
HRIBAJEVO NABREZJE LJUBLJANA, SLOVENIA
The most picturesque place to partake of a cold beer in this fairytale Eastern European capital is in one of the riverside bars. Makalonca sits right on the banks of the Ljublajanica River and under the watchful eye of the castle on the hill above. Attracts a hip young local crowd and is fantastic as the day turns to night and the castle lights spring to life.

16. LOOF BAR
331 NORTH BRIDGE ROAD, SINGAPORE
While Raffles Hotel next door is still an appealing Colonial place for a tipple, its trendy neighbour Loof has the Lion City's trendsetters flocking to its rooftop bar. It is decorated with trees in cages, life-sized silhouettes and strings of colourful lights and has an unrivalled view across both Raffles and the ever-changing Singapore skyline currently in the grip of a building frenzy.

17. OPERA BAR
SYDNEY OPERA HOUSE FORECOURT, SYDNEY.
The drinking equivalent of the property adage: "Location, location, location". This bar must have one of the most enviable views in the world sandwiched as it is between the Opera House and The Coathanger. Upbeat live music of a weekend adds to the relaxed vibe; go at sunset for the best results.

18. BED SUPPER CLUB
26 SUKHUMVIT SOI 11, BANGKOK, THAILAND
This retro-futuristic hotspot has a 2001: A Space Odyssey vibe with white pods, blue neon, sleek, modern couches and black-and-white films projected on the walls. Add to this a modern Thai menu of spicy bar snacks and local takes on classic cocktails like the mojito, and you have the recipe for one of the hippest new bars in South-East Asia.

19. FEATHER BOA
38 STAUNTON STREET, SOHO, HONG KONG
This kitsch wonderland, housed in a former antique store, is the perfect antidote to many of the boozier bars in this hip late-night area. Regularly packed to the retro chaise longue with HK sybarites this is rarely a problem as patrons and staff are friendly and welcoming; a real find.

20. CAFÉ MOCKBA
11 EERIKINKATU, HELSINKI, FINLAND.
Cafe Mockba is owned by indie Finnish filmmaker Aki Kaurismäki and his brother Mika and adopts a retro-Soviet vibe. Arranged with all the care of a film set: Old Soviet records – many of them military marches – crackle out of a 1950s record-player, the Formica-topped bar sits in front of a sparse collection of simple liquor and a fug of cigarette smoke chokes the air.

Last Saturday marked the last Saturday that Robert "RC" Cormier played as a member of Sante Fe Hong Kong. He will always be welcomed to take the field with us in Hong Kong but for those who don't know yet, he's moving to Singapore with the family. Duty calls.

I'm sure we'll still see plenty of RC but he leaves some big shoes to fill in the legacy of Hong Kong softball. Rob and Sante Fe were one of the initial sponsors of the league and helped to keep it alive during the early years. In fact they made him Treasurer to make sure there were always funds in the softball accounts. Some things don't change.

Rob was always gracious with his wallet for the league or the traveling tournaments but it's his heart and his sportsmanship that made him such a great guy. That was evident last Saturday when the games were done, the sun was gone but the guys were not. About 30 of us hung out with RC til the rain came down sharing stories about the early years of Rob and the league. The best story came from Mark Looram who as the speaker stood on the speaker telling a story only to have McIntyre pull down his shorts, then his sliding shorts having his willy sticking out as he fell back and landed flat on his back but he did manage to save his beer. He got back up, tucked his jersey over his nads and kept on telling the story like nothing happened while the rest of us just lost it.

You just got to love having a beer at King's Park with a guy's guy like Robert Cormier.

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ' Happy Birthday.' I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... They will remember. My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, 'Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday ! ' It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock , when Jane knocked on my door and said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me.' I said, 'Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go !'

We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We?' I responded, 'I guess not. What do you have in mind ?' She said, 'Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner.'

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, ' Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment.
I'll be right back.' 'Ok.' I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ... Followed
by my wife,
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and co-workers,
all singing 'Happy Birthday'.


And I just sat there...




On the couch...





Naked.

They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.  They get back to his place, and he shows her around his apartment.

She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall!

It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display.

There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf.

She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large collection of Teddy Bears.

She is very impressed by his sensitive side, but doesn't mention this to him. They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after awhile, she finds herself thinking, 'Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the father of my children?'

She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. He responds warmly. They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love. She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known.
 
After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, 'Well, how was it?' The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says:




"Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf".

Scouts agree, he's the best right-handed person ever.

In fact, softball insiders believe that Loo will impact human civilization in much the same way that language, tool use, and agriculture have.

Physicists are analyzing the data from Manila looking for new quarks.

That's how good he is. There's also been speculation that Microsoft reduced its bid for Yahoo! by as much as $5 billion because Loo wasn't in the player pool for fantasy softball.

Seriously, he's that good.

There is widespread agreement that if we harvest Loo's stem cells, they will cure death.

He's so good, he's been known to divide by zero.

Hong Kong, Kowloon Side Somewhere on the Dark Side -- At first glance, the man and woman at the nightclub look like any other couple on a date. He flirts and pours champagne. She looks at him and laughs.

This isn't a date, though. It's business.

The woman, a successful executive, has joined a growing number of professional women in Hong Kong in forking out from $1,000 to $50,000 a night for male companionship.

They meet their "hosts" in hundreds of clubs that have sprung up around Hong Kong - the industry says only compliments are exchanged. The women pay for a man to lavish them with undivided attention even if they have no idea what Boyd is saying with the chew in his mouth.

"There's nothing wrong with a woman paying to be entertained by a man," one female client says. "It's just another step in equality." - Although some might say they have a long way to go before they catch up.

It's a dizzying reversal of traditional gender roles in a country long known for geisha-types pampering male clients with conversation, singing and dancing. Now a new breed of entertainer has cropped up -- think of them as male geishas.

"I give women things that men normally don't do, like complimenting their appearance," says one host, 24-year-old Elko, who only goes by his single host name. "I make women happy."

And they make him happy: Elko says he earned more than $200,000 last year, enough to let him visit a salon once a day to have his hair dyed and blow-dried.

"Women see us as one of their accessories," he says. "They like to wear nice things, so I try to look prettier for them all the time."

Women love being treated well without the pressures that come with dating, she says.

Elko's customer from the nightclub agrees.

"This is a gift for myself," she says. "It's the same as spending money on a trip or buying something."

It was Dice-K mania in Tokyo for the opening games of the MLB and some HK Softball people were in town to represent. Representing the Bulldogs, we had Mr. Boston, Bill Wiswell, who helped to organize tickets for about 30 of his closest friends from Boston, HK, Tokyo and Boston Red Sox chat rooms. Chris Calvert was representing Lux and has yet to send me the picture we took with the beer girls. The hot dogs might be better in the US but the beer girls are the way to go during a ball game. Tiny little girls who are super hot by the 5th inning cruise around with mini-kegs on their back and deliver beer to your seat. I liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike. Representing Sante Fe we had Ron "Ronzilla" Savino and yours truly - ButterAss. Ron has a hard time showing up for Sante Fe games from Australia but he doesn't seem to have a problem going all the way to Tokyo to see the mlb. Anyways a good time had by all and hopefully next year we'll have another opportunity to do the same with more guys.

Just found out Sante Fe also had Eric "King" Tong in the house as well.  That's niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice.

Serena Kozakura, a Japanese pin-up model, has probably had her way numerous times based on the size of her breasts, but this has to be the first time they have ever helped her overturn a court ruling. Serena, 38 years old, was charged and found guilty of breaking into a man’s apartment by kicking in a hole in his door and crawling through because he was with another woman.

The bikini model was cleared of all charges after the defense council helded up a plate showing the size of the hole that Serena was accused of kicking in. It was clear that the hole in the door was not large enough for the 44-inch bust model to squeeze through.

Look Alikes: Big Country seems to be doubling as UCLA's standout freshman Kevin "McLovin" Love. Chad Boyd is seen here looking to pass the ball to anyone of his female cousins willing to catch it.

All Smiles: Ronnie Moss was all smiles with the new home plate. Well done by Preston Powell for brining home plate home. Now can someone get the guy a batter's box?

Best play on Saturday: Sante Fe's triple play. Johnny "So Easy" at 2B makes a difficult over the head catch in shallow right field, guns the runner tagging from 3rd at home, Tim Egan makes the play and guns to 3B where Johny Loud tags the guy taggin from 2B. Triple play end of inning. I liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike.

And the Name was Born: From Manila we thought Rick Steel was a great name but some of the best ideas and names are born on Saturday nights at King's Park. With a little too much butter on my tongue I mistakenly called Douglas Hoover, Douglas Doover and the name was born. It's actually become a verb already. When you find yourself in a pickle, on the base path or in life, you can say "I'm so Doooooooooooooved." When you question somebody you can say "Dooooooooooove?" Anyways, moving forward you may refer to him simply as Douglas Doover or Dooooooooove.

Best quote on Saturday: Tim Meade makes a joke about Douglas Doover having a splitting headache because Doover has a 3 inch gash in his head from Dooving himself on Friday night by tripping and hitting his head on the stairs. So Doover, Meade and myself are laughing then 2 minutes later Joe Duke starts laughing. We ask him if he just got it. He says, "No, I just got it again" It seems it wasn't funny enough for Dukey to laugh the first time but the second time around when it registered with his brain it was funnier.

Best email of the week: Yet again Joe Duke as he enlightened all of us by saying "I like to drink beer at King's Park"

Worst play: Butterass had his cell stolen despite the monster homerun I hit.

I walked into a public toilet where I found two cubicles, of which one was already occupied. So I entered the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down. A voice came from the cubicle next to me: "Hello mate, how are you going?"

I thought it a bit strange but not wanting to be rude I replied "Yeah, not too bad thanks."

After a short pause, I heard the voice again "So, what are you up to mate?"

Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly it must be said.  Unsure what to say, I replied "Umm, just having a quick poo... How about yourself?"

I then heard the voice for the third time .....  "Sorry mate, I'll have to call you back . I've got some `D*ckhead` in the loo next to me answering everything I say."

For those of you who couldn't make it out because you had to sleep in Manila.  You got to have Faith that she is the hostess with the mostess as she did disappoint in providing a bit of scenery to the evenings.  For those of you who would like to find out more about life in Manila on a personal level visit Avi's blog: http://avisiwa.com/

Damn straight I'm back! How you take away my one added value to the league is beyond me. Maybe it was Greg Flynn that got hit in the head with a softball and not T-Mac (By the way, never saw it but good to see my boy T-Mac is back!).

Anyways, Doug Hoover wants to know if you have seen his hat. There have been sightings everywhere. Foley folded in his pocket. Clint was dancing with it. McIntyre ate it.  A girl named Abdul claims to have it.

So a big shout out to the Turkey boys. I wish everyone could have seen the scene. We had about 40+ guys from HK rooting the Turkeys on. We even had some screaming River Rat-ta-tays in blue cheering on the Turks. Some guys have big sticks but Defense wins championships (ala the Superbowl which just sucked by the way). Baba-Loo faced 22 batters in 7 innings. Willett couldn't do that against his new born kid. That's how good that was. It doesn't mean batters didn't get on base, it's just when they did they were thrown out, FOR REAL double plays. The boys turned 4 double plays in the championship game. WORD! Trust me it wasn't from practicing it in the other games (see side note).

SIDE NOTE: Day 2 Clint's on first. Double play ball hit to 2nd, Dirty at SS takes the ball turns to throw to first. Clint doesn't slide and gets hit in the gut. It leaves a large welt. It took us a few hours to find it but it was there. It can be described as an alien baby sticking it's eye firmly against the inside of the stomach in an effort to look out at the world.

Anyways great to see the whole HK crew sticking together on and off the field. HK made a good showing on the field as well. Tough break for Preston's crew as they lost 3 of their first 4 games by 1 run.

Gashouse in Gashouse fashion started out slow with a pathetic hitting game in game 1 but really turned it on for games 2-4. Everybody hit and everybody contributed. Key game 4 against the rival River Rats saw two of their rallies snuffed out at home with great throws from Osama Bin Farbman in Left Center and a crucial double play from Calloway throwing to home despite having no arm left. Classic pitching from Ram Rumbling Ronnie and the Groovy Hoovy. Key stat of the tournament however: Butterass ERA in the tournament 0.00. In Manila, they don't call me Butterass rather they call me "El Closer con Butter" The braintrust of Bego, Ronzilla and Meade (Yeah I know it has no chance of ever being a law firm) put together a good mix of boys that had good fun on and off the field. Off field pictures to follow in days.

Best quote of the tournment: Purple Wayne Lau was snagging liners up the middle like nobody's business. The GHG walking by says, "How does Wayne do that?" Eric H. from Right Center hears us some how and says "Viagra"

2nd best quote: Soon after victory in the championship game, Caveman is asked "Where are you going?" Caveman answers "TIN HAU" - That's right folks Tin Hau is where it's at. In fact, I called him yesterday on my way home and said there was a noticable difference in the number of people walking around Tin Hau already aka the Caveman Effect.

10. White House not big enough for in-laws.
 9. Engineering, medicine, and law always preferred over politics.
 8. Oval Office has bad feng shui.
 7. Can't find decent roast duck inside the beltway.
 6. Secret service can't handle nagging from mother.
 5. Dignitaries generally intimidated by chopsticks at state dinners.
 4. No chance for promotion.
 3. Lactose intolerance not considered politically correct.
 2. Senior aides won't take off shoes before coming in.
 1. Air Force One: No frequent flyer miles.

I'm not one to get into politics but I just thought this was a pretty funny campaign button for the Mrs. Clinton.

A notice has been sent out following the tripping incident to Mike McIntyre last week at King's Park.  It seems the floors get pretty slick with all the soap and water. McIntyre is seen here tripping on the way out to the sidewalk.  Fortunately for all of us he was not seriously injured.

For those of you who missed it, another classic Mikosh/Dirty moment when Mikosh walked around the field holding Dirty's pocket.

I don't think too many guys were out there earlier in the morning last Saturday for the Bulldogs and Sante Fe double-header but there were a bunch of kids who took a break from their soccer game to cheer on Mr. Softball himself Johnny Lau.  The kids just loved him as they chanted "John-ny John-ny John-ny" and of course Johnny delivered as usual.  The kids just ate it up.

Of course they started to get a little obnoxious. Imagine having 20 Jon Meyers up their pre-puberty.  However the best qutoe from one of the little guys was "Hey Mikosh - I like the condom you have in your back pocket!"  The Bulldogs with their named jerseys were easy pickings for the future hecklers of the Hong Kong Softball League as they keyed in on Mikosh's round tin in his back pocket.  They soon loved Mikosh though as he smashed a HR to deep center field off the fingers of Butter himself.  I had no idea Mikosh could hit it so far.  I have to admit this took away a bit from my joy in hitting my first homerun since little league earlier in the game. As Johnny So told me "Romo we didn't have the heart to tell you the balls are juiced because you looked so happy!"  Well blow my butter!!!

For you baseball fans, here's a link to a Boras article in the New Yorker:

http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2007/10/29/071029fa_fact_mcgrath

So after throwing for 354 yards and 6 TD's Tom Brady has to hang out with Gisele Bundchen at the pool. Life is tough for an NFL star.  How is life for HK softball star? Well Mr. Zaleski was seen laying out on the roof of his building with an inflatable pool on Sunday and a cooler of HK's finest Carlsberg.  He was accompanied by two people in a bathing suit but they looked nothing like Gisele.  Jon Potter was digging a wedgie out of his butt while Tony Barnes picked the grey hairs from his chest.  I think Brady got the better end of this deal.

Rumor has it Greg Flynn is a Red Sox's fan.  He is pictured here screaming "Right Now - We are going to the World Series RIGHT NOW!"

Sometimes there are things that just put a smile on your face. This guy was Sean Looram's taxi driver the other day.

Why was Matt "Tap-Out" Terranova only in Hong Kong on the weekends?  What did he do during the week?  Did anyone see him? 

It wasn't until his graceful play last Saturday at 2B when he dove so elegantly to his left and threw the ball while it was still stuck in his cap was the correlation made.  He's been a dance double for Mark Cuban on "Dancing with the Stars."  When judges saw the play on tape there was no doubt that the gracefulness and elegance on display belonged to the same person on the show posing as Mark Cuban. 

Since the scandal broke it's now known that in the world of professional dancing Matt is known as "Twinkie Toes."

Lena Yada from Hawaii, has made it to the 5^th week of the WWE Diva Search!

Please vote for her!!  You can vote daily. It's not a bad website to frequent. You'll thank me later.

http://www.wwe.com/divasearch/

Watching MNF made me realize that the reality of having a weekday night game of the week at King's Park is probably doable. They do have lights.  It would definitely be exciting.

Speaking of exciting, did you see the MNF fooball game today?  The MNF game was one of the craziest games I've seen in a long time. The best name in football, Romo, did everything he could to lose the game which included 5 INTs and a fumble lost but somehow the Cowboys pulled off the W.  It started when Stanford boy Edwards who had a solid game without make any mistakes threw a pick deep in Cowboys territory where the Bills would of walked away with at least 3 to go up by 11 late in the 4th quarter. Instead the Cowboys go down to score a TD with 20 seconds remaining to go down by 2. However the 2 pt conversion failed and the Buffalo fans went crazy when TO couldn't come down with the conversion. Then Dallas kicked an absolutely perfect onside kick that bounced around down the field and they somehow managed to recover it.  So 18 seconds left and you are looking at a 60 yard field goal. Romo drops back to hit TO on the 25. They run down to spike the ball with 1 sec left. Hoooooold on.  Review from the booth. It's not a catch 13 seconds left on the clock. 4 yard out. Then a 7 yard out. 2 secs left and the Cowboys now have a chance to win the game with a 53 yard fg. It's up it's good. Hooooooooold on. Buffalo called a time-out. Some coach in the NFL every week pulls this trick. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. This case is doesn't, Folk goes up to nail the 53 yarder AGAIN to win the game as time expires. Are you kidding me? Crazy ass game and sets up a 5-0 vs 5-0 battle when the Cowboys square off against New England.  It's a bit like the 3-0 Keg agains the 2-0 Sante Fe this coming weekend. 

First Saturday back and felt like the whole gang was there. Some of us have added a little extra butter here and there but all in all everyone came back looking great.

Unfortunately for me, it took Peter K and I an hour from North Point to get through the tunnel so we had a 5 minute bp with 5 balls. Well that was before Cormier our first batter hit 3 foul balls over the fence. 2 ball bp is way over-rated.  Hong Kong is great in many ways but having the cheapest tunnel in the middle of the city is probably the stupidest thing that it has ever done.

Sante Fe and Brew Crew took part in a pitchers-fest courtesy of Hawley and Ronny Moss.  Their combined starting age set a new record for the hk softball league - 148 years combined.  Some great D helped and I was happy to be part of the play of the game. Plested cranked a shot into left field where Spencer jumped up to grab the ball. He came down with nothing in his glove and the ball was nowhere to be found. It was lodged between the beam and the fence so I jumped up as high as I could (2 inches) and grabbed the ball to relay it to E.T. who did not call home but threw a bullet to Johnny Softball who made a tag at 3rd on a sliding Plested. Man it's great to be back out there again. It's fun to be part of a great play or then again it's fun to see a fly ball from Bego land 1 foot in front of you and try not to even catch it during the crucial 7th inning.

WHO WOULD OF THUNK IT?

Keg 3-0, Brew Crew 0-2

Hecky strikes out for the first time EVER.

Spencer Goes: Yard, K, Yard

OTHER THINGS I NOTICED:

Mike Gleyze is trying to become captain of the all-socks team. He's attempting to de-throne Hoov. Rumor has it he's actually wearing panty hose.

Matt "Twinkie" Terranova is the only person in our league who could dive a.k.a. fall over and throw his hat with a lodged softball in there. He's like a real-life Sims character.

JK's inside the park HR was classic. His face when he ran from 2nd to home had us in stitches.  Sportview should have thrown in a sub for him during the warm up pitches to give him a few extra minutes to catch his breath.

Sportview has a scary line-up.

I wonder if Foley will make an out this year?

BUTTER OF THE WEEK:

Mike McIntyre. He was a hitting machine and made some great snags on D. Many of you might not know this but he left HK or I should say he attempting to leave HK but it's great to see him back hence the new nickname - Mike "I'm Back and Tired" McIntyre.

A SHOUT OUT:

I think it's safe to say for all of us Saturdays at the softball field represents the old life that we grew up with and miss back in North America.  I really appreciate softball for introducing me to some really great people that I now call my friends.  It's a great place for families too.  It's nice to see the crazy guys that I drink with hanging out playing catch with their kids.  So when one of my friends like Tim Noonan is going through a difficult time with his family I hope he knows that all his friends out there on Saturdays are there for him.  We are all praying for you and Yumi!

I've watched the controversial HR by Big Country and I'll tell you now it should have been a ground rule double. It didn't stop him from dressing up like a naked cowboy and celebrating with his first cousins after the game though.

ButterAss explains: Understanding the term "in flight" is critical for both umpires and players. Simply speaking, a batted ball remains "in flight" if it does not touch the ground or some object like a wall or fence. A putout cannot be recorded by a defensive player on a batted ball that doesn't remain "in flight." That's unless the umps or a drunk softball commissioner saw otherwise.

The definition for "IN FLIGHT" is described as a batted, thrown, or pitched ball which has not yet touched the ground or some object other than a fielder." Now I think it's fair to say the goal post is an object so when it touched the goal post the ball was no longer "in flight." Therefore if it was caught it's not an out and when it goes over the fence it's not a HR.

The interesting part of the definition is the fielder is in play so everyone remembers the infamous incident when the ball bounce on Canseco's head and over the wall for a HR. Classic.

Now that I've explained the rule I doubt that it will ever be duplicated again. Well done Boyd!!!

2 Blogs in 1 Day - How you like that "Right Now" Flynny?

Marion Jones admitted using steroids before the 2000 Olympics in a recent letter to close family and friends, The Washington Post reported Thursday.

Since she's come clean about The Clear, I thought I would do the same. I admit I used Butter before the 1999 season.  It's not like I got this body over night, just like Bonds you can see the shape of my body transforming from something Ryno-esqe to something a little more Grandolfo-ish but not that bad.  However I am grateful because through BA (Butter's Anonymous) I was able to meet Wayno and Meyers.  They are the ones that introduced me to the league and let me know I'm not the only one.

By the way, the league already started last week.  I spent the off-season bulking up in an effort to win money in a weight loss contest.

Well I'll be using this forum to share random thoughts etc. like "Why did Willett name his son after ancient Chinese mathmatical calculating tool?" I've added a picture of Willett's kid as my first picture blog for your enjoyment.

Only Butterass would have a blog set up for him and not leave an initial blog!!  No, this is not the famed Butterass but your Commish Sir Bronzed Nuts himself!  I received two separate phone calls today asking "how come you set up a Butterass Blog with no Butterass?".  Well the answer is, I told Mr. Margerine that I was setting up the page and he should leave an initial message.  True to form he did not.  Don't worry he will show....