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2007 All Palooka Team

By Bronzed Nuts, 12/04/07, 6:40AM HKT

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Find out if you made the team......

Palooka, as defined by Webster’s- Pa-loo-ka; A ball player that can still hit the ball with great force but has lost the ability whatsoever to field.

Given that definition I think it is also safe to add that it doesn’t hurt to look like a palooka as well! Some other tell tale signs would include anyone over 40 with a 1st baseman’s mit on or anyone standing behind the plate catching and yet sweating profusely. We got to discussing this very subject down in Bangkok while sitting around between games. The preponderance of evidence seems to be that the HKSPSA is loaded with Palookas!!! However, only a select few can truly make the All Palooka Team. Without further adieu I present to you the HKSPSA All Palooka Team…..

Joe Duke- By an overwhelming consensus it was unanimously agreed that Joe Duke is in fact “The King of all Palookas”! Ole Dukey was never really known for his defensive prowess anyway but two knee operations and a couple of extra lbs along the way have solidified his spot at the top. However, he has dropped a lot of weight and has fielded everything hit to him so far this year so he could lose his “King” status if this trend continues.

Andre Leigh- The youngest of all the full fledged palookas!! The Good Doctor at one point played short stop for the team once known as Coyote!! Now? He sits behind home plate with the happiest smile you’ve ever seen, struggling to get the ball back to Ro! What really solidified his palooka status though was the extra 20 lbs he put on along with the 15 HR’s.

Greg Flynn- Yup, I’m a palooka too! For years I have been fighting with Bego that I never lost a step and then I had an eye opening experience when I lost a foot race to Big Game of all people (he’s deceptively fast, I’m deceptively fat)!! Throw in a bunch of bone headed plays in the outfield and an arm that hurts with my first warm up toss and I’m battling Dukie for his spot!!

Keith Foley- Foley carries a big stick, we all know that. But let’s not forget he used to be a pretty damn good outfielder!! Granted it’s tough to get playing time when guys like Berst, Wiswell and Mabardy are roaming the outfield but when The Senator started EHing him full time Foley might as well plopped down next to Dre and Dukie on the buffet line!

Ryno- Let’s call him the “Reluctant Palooka”! Yes, he has done everything humanly possible to delay reaching Palookaville! Yes, those 14 protein shakes and 32 mega vitamins have given him the outward appearance of not being a Palooka. However, reaching the age of 60 is like winning your conference in NCAA basketball and receiving a bid to the big dance- you’re automatically in!!

Steve Flach- The only man with three left feet! Let’s call him “The Quiet Palooka”! Many of you may not know him that well because he is pretty quiet but Flachy or “Flach-gelence” as I call him, used to actually get around alright. Nowadays he has difficulty moving all three feet at one time to come up with any form of motion!

Jon Meyers- How can you possibly have an All Palooka Team and not have Meyers on it?? In the North Pole they have elves, in Hong Kong we have Oafs and they don’t come any oafier than Jon Meyers!! There was a day when Meyers would scoop everything coming his way. Now he’s a titanic sized anchor on an otherwise all star Lux infield!

Now, there are a lot of guys you may think are Palookas but actually they’re not! The list as follows…..

Dave Mann- Remember, you had to be able to field at one point in order to qualify as a Palooka!! Granted, anyone with the nickname “Cave Mann” should automatically qualify but the fact that he never could field will hurt his chances of making it!

Vince Zaleski- My problem with Vince is that he has not slowed down enough to make it! I keep waiting for him but as of yet he has disappointed! He has a Palooka build and you would think he’s not a good fielder, but he is, and therefore he misses the cut!

Mac- Again, another guy that has all the makings of a full blown Palooka! However, he still remains quite nimble with the glove and there are few out there that look as good as he does fielding a ball.

Ronzilla- His Bangkok performance killed him! We all thought he was done and then he came up huge in BK and it took him out of consideration. I would like to see a little less hustle out of him.

Chad Boyd- So much potential both physically and mentally but again he’s just too good of a fielder! Anyone that can play two positions very well (and I don’t mean Catcher and 1st Base) just does not qualify for such a prestigious group!

JK- See “Dave Mann”.

Before we close this out there is one more category we need to cover and that is the Reverse Palooka or LaLaPalookas as they are known (guys that can field but can’t hit).

Clete Kimbrough- He better be careful because he really is developing into a very good hitter!  For now he remains the most underrated fielder in the league and that makes him “King of the LaLaPalookas”.

Brook Teeter- Or Clete Kimbrough lite as we call him!

Eddie G- Long lost brother of Clete and Teeter!

Ron Moss- You didn’t think we could have a group consisting of the words “LaLa” and “Palooka” and not have Ronnie Moss in it, did ya?? He still remains one of the best fielding pitchers in the game.

So there it is folks, you’re 2007-2008 All Palooka Team! Give a hearty congrats and by them a beer if you should see them out at the field.